Coach Tony Dungy: “You Don’t Win Every Game”

Posted on February 6, 2012 by jocelyn

Coach Tony Dungy has had a lot of firsts, as the first NFL coach to defeat all NFL teams, the youngest assistant coach at age 25, the first African American head coach to win the Super Bowl, and the first NFL book author to ever reach the New York Times bestseller’s list. Tony was head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers from 1996 to 2001, and head coach of the Indianapolis Colts from 200 to 2008, retiring in 2009. I caught up with Dungy to discuss what matters most, and find it fitting to run the interview the day after the 46th Super Bowl in which he served as commentator…

What role does attitude play in your life?

Attitude is really the key. When you are involved in sports as much as I am, you are going to have wins and losses, ups and downs, and it really depends on your outlook, how you handle both of those things. Attitude goes a long way wherever you are in life, whatever your station. How you look at things really determines a lot of what you’re going to be able to do.

Did you set goals, or how do you go about attaining so many notable accomplishments?

Continue reading →

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What Would You Do?

Posted on February 2, 2012 by jocelyn

We are often asked, “What would Jesus do?” or “What would Bill Gates do?” or “What would your mother do?” or “What would _______________________do?” How often do you stop to ask yourself, what you would do?

What I mean by this is, what would you do if:

  • money didn’t matter
  • everything you ever dreamed of doing hadn’t yet been done
  • all your fears vanished
  • you had all the skills to make it happen
  • your hair never got messy and your vision was 20/20
  • you had unlimited years left to do it
  • you were beautiful, smart, intelligent
  • you had a perfect life from day one until now
  • you were sure global warming weren’t imminent
  • your boss, parent, spouse believed in you more
  • the business climate were ripe for your idea
  • no one had ever made you think, feel, act as if you couldn’t do that one thing?

It takes many of us a long time to ask ourselves this simple question, because we’re often so worried about what is out there, and what all of those people are doing or thinking, and what we need to do today. If you don’t know the answer to that question, perhaps you can still answer this other simple question, “What would you do today, assuming you could?” and then ask yourself this follow up question, “What might that lead to tomorrow?”

Are you doing that one thing? Or not? Why?

I think wise people ask themselves these questions, and successful people answer them. I’ve interviewed some of these folks, and surprisingly (or not), I’ve seen trends. I’ll publish their interviews over the next six months, but first I want to know: What would you do? Think about it, and let me know.

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So You Wanna Be a Writer?

Posted on November 30, 2011 by jocelyn

Today I was interviewed for Go Positive University on the topic of writing a book. I unveiled my 5 Groundbreaking Rules for Writing Your Book or Blog. I’m going to let the audio speak for itself. Click here to listen!

Hint: The rules are ALL ones that you can do!

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“Help, I Can’t Hear You”

Posted on November 18, 2011 by jocelyn

As a parent of two young children, and a business owner, I sometimes find myself straining to “hear.”

I know I’m not alone. I’ve heard others say the same thing. It’s not that we don’t have adequate ears. It’s that they are sometimes too adequate.

While I am scurrying about making dinner, tending to a 4-year-old appetite that simply can’t wait, managing work e-mails that trickle in from a different time zone, and thinking about the pesky hallway trim that needs to be repainted, I sometimes can’t hear the small things… like the satisfaction my older daughter received from winning a reading award earlier that day, or my partner’s supportive glance in my direction, or my perpetually happy yet mud-streaked dog on the doorstep.

This reminds me of business development. As we log on to LinkedIn, or Google various keywords in our market, we can easily become overwhelmed at the quantity of competitive information. It may feel like everyone wants to be the expert, and everyone wants to be heard NOW. (Afterall, I do too.) It may be hard to hear ourselves through all this noise.

The issue I want to address is, what do you do with “competition overload?” What if you get so discouraged looking at all the communications options that you just want to go back to bed? What if you can’t hear through all the noise, and the best option seems to be to head for the river, buy a school bus, and hope to catch enough catfish to survive? Somehow the noise of all those fish squirming about sounds better sometimes than the chatter in our heads about what we should be doing right now.

Whether you work for a large corporation, or are managing your own startup, you are bound to experience that drive to compare yourself to everyone else “out there.” And you are bound, at times, to feel overwhelmed, or concerned that you don’t match up, or won’t match up. It will feel like your ears are working too well, and you can’t hear the REAL message.

My question is, are you listening to what really matters? And what, you ask, really matters? Here are my three cents (or bullet points) on how to cut through the clutter and hear the message that will get you moving again:

1)What do YOU do well? It doesn’t matter if Ieizves Lousdes or John Doe on Twitter also does those things well. Ignore the thousand other people today who do what you do. Focus on your strengths only.

2)What can you do today? You might not be able to deliver on your plan today and rake in your billion dollars, but what can you do? Maybe it’s simply writing your plan, or finding someone who can. Maybe it’s boiling a perfect hard boiled egg. Maybe it’s earning five cents at the lemonade stand. Find competency in your actions today.

3)What ONE thing are you going to listen to right now? Don’t try to monitor every conversation on LinkedIn while writing copy for your next speech and worrying about what your competitor might be doing (he MIGHT be taking a nap, you know). Instead, focus on one area at a time, until it’s complete. Listen to one child at a time, cook one dish at a time, write one web page at a time. Research shows that multi-tasking doesn’t work anyway, so why not try to really focus and see what happens?

Now get working…

Image: PANPOTE / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Forgiveness: Who Needs It?

Posted on May 30, 2011 by jocelyn

Sometimes in business and in life, we are faced with the option of forgiving someone who has hurt us. You have probably heard that it’s important to forgive, and that forgiveness is not so much for the person who committed the act, as for the person forgiving. I’ve debated as to whether I agree with this… the part about forgiveness being necessary. For example, as the victim of a heinous crime, would you forgive the person who murdered your loved one? I don’t think everyone is capable of that. Would you be healthier if you could? In an ideal world, maybe. But I also think anger is there for a reason, to fuel us to stay away from certain situations, people, etc. Here are five points to remember regarding forgiveness:

1)Forgiveness is very helpful, much of the time. Scientific studies published on places like the Mayo Clinic website have even shown the health benefits of forgiveness– lower blood pressure, less substance abuse, less stress.

2)But I think there is a science to forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean always allowing someone back into our lives to trample on us in the same way. After all, that wouldn’t be healthy, would it? I think enough distance is necessary so that we determine how to set boundaries that protect us from getting in the same mess again. Then, we have the chance to heal, and possibly choose whether to allow this person into our lives again, on our terms.

3)Empathy is key to forgiveness. If we can understand how someone might have been motivated to hurt us, even if we don’t agree with the rationale, we can at least separate ourselves from it being about us.

4)Sometimes, I think forgiveness entails NOT letting that person back into our lives, but simply letting go of the hold he or she had on us. When you are clear about what you can and can’t allow in your life, you can let go of the guilt associated with choosing to “defriend” someone… or you can choose how to cultivate the relationship again in healthy ways. You have options, and you can adjust as you go.

5)There can be power in vocalizing your position to your “perpetrator” (if you are safe, and have no expectations of reciprocation). I once felt very wronged by someone, and years later, I was able to write a note stating that I did not condone what was done, but that I was sorry for my contribution to it, and that I had let it go. I wasn’t letting this person off the hook, but I was letting him out of my mind, so that I could be free to live the best life I could, free from the drama or past. At that moment, I was able to engage with live in a new way (and no, it didn’t happen all in one moment… it was a process… but you get the idea).

Whatever your position, if you find yourself stewing about something that happened, I hope that you can find a way to minimize the negativity. If it’s in the workplace, it’s just as important to be able to think with a clear mind and engage with a clear heart. Sometimes this means letting go, and other times it means finding a way out.  Don’t let yourself talk about the same negative things so often or with such duration that they blind out the good in your life, or paralyze you.

 What are you holding onto today, in the form of a grudge? Who can you forgive, or ask for forgiveness from?

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Don’t Be a Jemima Puddle-Duck

Posted on April 29, 2010 by jocelyn

I recently read the Beatrix Potter story of Jemima Puddle-Duck to my daughters. Jemima grows tired of being unable to hatch her own eggs in the barnyard. She is a nervous duck, and her eggs keep getting taken by the farmer’s wife (who thinks hens are better at hatching eggs). So she sets off into the forest alone to find a suitable place to nest.

There, she runs across a fox, who is delighted to help her. He compliments her, builds her a nest, lures her to come back day after day, until the eggs are nearly ready to hatch. (Which of us doesn’t like a fox to pay a compliment to us now and then?) At that time, he has a pot prepared, so that he can eat the eggs, and her.

Once she realizes he is out to snatch not only her eggs but her life, it’s nearly too late… except that the barnyard dogs come and wrestle with the wily fox, and take Jemima back home. Later, dear Jemima manages to hatch eggs in her own barnyard, but not too many… because she is still of the nervous ilk.

How often do we grow discontent in our barnyard, thinking maybe we can find the golden egg as soon as we abandon the simple hens in our midst?  Maybe we set off on our own pursuit, thinking if only we could go off to a woodsy hollow somewhere, and use our own devices, surely we’d grow rich. Then the sly fox deceives us, we nearly give away our entire nest full of eggs, and we have to be rescued by the friends and family we originally thought were rather common and not terribly knowledgeable.

Okay, this may be a stretch, but we’ve seen this process manifest in a few ways. Think of the man who decides after 15 years of marriage that he’d rather try someone younger and newer, only to realize in another 15 years that he has lost his relationship with his children. Think about the entrepreneur who believes the get-rich-yesterday scheme, quits his job, and invests his life savings into something like invisible water.

Those may be examples that we can’t relate to, because they are not well enough disguised in potential profit… but I think most of us have enjoyed a risk-taking fantasy at some point. And risk taking is a very necessary part of success. Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, had a very handsome job on Wall Street when he quit to sell books online. What is the key then to making sure your eggs aren’t devoured?

Are you itching to do something bigger and grander, and tempted to venture out into the forest? If you do, please bear these things in mind:

1)You may need those common barnyard dogs. Bring your friends with you. Ask their opinion along the way. And be nice to them (pack plenty of treats).

2)When you meet foxes who charm you with cozy nests, see if they also have big black pots outside. Research your investments. Google the company you are interested in and check for scam reports. Double check the facts that an “expert” tells you on how to market your business online, before committing to more than you would spend on an overeasy egg at the local diner. (Okay, that’s enough about eggs, I promise.) If a deal is really that amazing, it most likely won’t come with a “one day only” offer.

3)If the forest is scary, don’t be afraid to come back to the barnyard for a while. At least you will have had an adventure which you can share with the gossiping goose. (Be sure not to lose your way out there either.)

What adventure are you considering? Who will you choose to trust?

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Marketing: As Simple as Sugarpeas

Posted on April 15, 2010 by jocelyn

I spent the middle part of today in my garden, checking on my sugarsnap peas, with my 2-year-old, Sierra. We planted these peas with her older sister, Sascha, a few weeks ago. Peas remind me of Oregon, where I’m from. I guess that is because there is an “Oregon Sugarsnap,” which I tend to gravitate towards planting, even here in N.C.

Today, it was time to put up the support for my pea vines. In the past, I’ve used rickety sticks and various things that have tumbled down in the wind. This year, I’m trying four fence posts, with twine interspersed. They are a little short, but they are stronger than those sticks. We’ll see how it goes.

It seems that no matter what support system I use, I always get peas. They are simple, sweet, nutritious, and delicious.

I spent the earlier part of my day in my home office, working. I mulled over the branding needs for a couple of budding writers and entrepreneur clients.

As I start this blog, I’m influenced by the desire to keep the product simple and sweet. It’s easy to get caught up in what a website should look like or what the Twitter Guru of the Universe is saying about the hottest thing in social media, or the number of recipients on your eblast list, but when it really comes down to it, these statistics don’t matter as much as the seeds you are planting, and the fact that you are watering them and intend to eat them.

Focus on the basics. Here are some tips:

1)Do you know who you are, or what you stand for? If not, figure it out. Otherwise, you’ll be reaching outside of yourself to market, and you’ll be spread thin.

2)Do you believe in what you are doing? Do you get so distracted by your work that you forget to send invoices? This is generally a pretty good indicator that you are in the right place.

3)Are you as comfortable telling your grocer about your work, as you are writing about it on Facebook? Social media may seem like the easy way to make a buck, but it’s only part of the mix. You still need to get to know people around you, and provide them with something of value… like sugarsnap peas. This creates an authenticity about what you do, which makes your brand much more solid.

What sort of seeds are you planting? Post your comments.

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